Friday, March 7, 2014

Syurga Ku.

Wednesday was hot- bukan panas di luar sahaja tapi panas di hati- di tempat kerja memang ada saja pencabar,tak tahu apa dalam hatinya:( I finally exploded on Wednesday- wanted to give my piece of mind but dia didn't pick up my call- so I  sent email instead and went back home...what a day on Wednesday. Politic is not my game.

The moment I arrived  home I left the "fire" outside the gate- My Syurgas were waiting:) Not fair to them if i bring in the fire- I threw away my bitter smile  and gave the sweetest face, kept my tired body and painful heart in the closet and went to the kitchen to fix dinner. 

I looked at my 91 yr old mother she was so happy to hear that i was back home- the two girls jumped up and down when they see me- what else would i want in this world- nothing else matters when you have all those:);) And to Allah Swt you submit..In sha Allah.

Thursday i decided to give my number one Syurga more time- i texted my boss and told him that i am utilizing my 2013 annual leave balance:):) I took one day off - for her- just for her.

I played my role as a daughter and enjoyed my day of a " full time housewife":);)


Morning: after sending the girls to my husband's car to go to school i gave her bath,shampooed her her hair  and powdered her face- bukan tak pernah buat pagi2 cuma this time i took my time,i gave full attention to scrubing her back,lathering shampoo on her white hair- i brushed her dentures- put on her pink baggy shirt and polka dots pant- helped her with her  her telekung, i let  her pray- and just like dulu2 masa kecik bila nak exam menagih doa dari nya- cuma this time i told her to pray for me so that i ll be strong,healthy,blessed with rezeki and i can continuosly take care of her. I cooked her favourite porridge for breakfast- masa kecik she always cook bubur nasi,bila dah really kembang she put a lil bit of salt and santan kelapa, the porridge becomes so nice,creamy and milky, she will boil eggs and fried ikan bilis and onion for me. I made that for her, she finished one bowl of porridge and a mug of milo.Lepas tu i brought her to her favourite sofa, i told her that i am going to kemas the rumah,arrange my books and re arrange some furnitures. While i kept my books in the new book shelves she cerita about kampung,about her glory days- lunch i took her and Heni to KFC and we had lunch there- i felt very happy that day- all pain in the heart hilang!:):) She cant hardly sees these days- the specialist said they can't perform cataract operation on her anymore- her nerves rosak;( :(- i cried few days when i heard that, i cried while driving from my office back home, i felt helpless- she is part of me- i can feel and imagine how to live with little vision but she is very positive- she said she redha,she tak think about herself so much but worried about me working hard,whether i have enough money or enough rest-i told her i have husband to take care of me but to her i am her little girl forever- whenever i think of that i will cry-  maybe i am a bit emotional, i have a lot of memories with her- as i grew up we carved our history together- as a mother now i try to do that as much as i could with my children- when your mother always  there for you, guide and hold your hands when you need her- she will become part of your life, you and her will be a team;);)- Emak you might see  less but you have  more in your heart-Alhamdulillah.


And ini yang i buat hari tu- i bought new bookshelves sebab old bookshelves dah roboh..haa haa..the new one supposed to have glass window on top tapi datang macam ni- first i was frustrated but okay jugak sebab boleh hide some of tia mia's ugly books:);)


I rearranged few things here- this area abandoned dah lama- since tia mia kecik we keep her toys in ikea boxes, bookshelves and drawers fulled with their legos etc- the wall pun dah kuning- last week i asked my husband to touch up the area and i get rid of the old bookshelves and drawers- i wanted to get rid of the cleopatra sofa too- tak tahu apa yang i fikir masa beli 7 tahun dulu:):) but not easy to buang old furniture kena sewa lori or panggil second hand furniture buyer- jadi i gave a facelift to the sofa-added new cushions and cover- jadi lah selagi mata boleh bertahan- since we placed tia mia's new piano here- i nak buat buatlah this area boleh lepak2 and baca buku-they quite good at playing piano - love to sit on the sofa,read my magazine while they play "Ode to Joy";);) and ada rezeki boleh tukar langsir- so long tak tukar:);)


Then i remember about this lace- i bought 8 years ago in Florence- dah kuning tepi dia tersimpan lama tapi bila rendam dlm Clorox putih bersinar balik..yeayyy happy:)


I fell in love with this lace when i saw it in a small shop in Florence Italy, beli ikut berapa panjang nak- i wish i beli banyak dulu2;);) lace dia berat dan tebal;);)

That was my Wednesday- Alhamdulillah anddddd tomorrow is Saturday! Happy mode- night night:)

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13 comments:

ida said...

Alhamdulillah Azu,syurga menanti dirumah..tekanan tempat kerja just left it outside, sound easy, tapi yang kuat hatinya like u boleh la buat, i boleh cakap, tak tentu mampu buat, kadang2 terbawak tekanan and stress ke dalam rumah and terkesan pulak kat semua in the house.
Long time tak jenguk sini as i went for Umrah and balik2 bila cek your sanctuary tak banyak yang i tertinggal hehehe.
Kisses utk uwan and twin.

Tiha Azmi said...

Whenever you post about your mom..it makes my eyes teary ...... and it makes me appreciate/love my mom more than i used to .... may Allah shower his countless blessing and happiness upon you and your family kak .. :)

Shiling Seow said...

Hello Kak Zu, This bookshelf looks nice. May I ask where you purchased it?

Sally

Shiling Seow said...

Hi Kak Zu,

Nice bookshelf. Where did you purchase it?

Sally

Ila said...

Kak Zu,the new makeover is nice and cozy...rasa nak join lepak ...hehe.
This morning I woke up , after prayer ...kononnya nak update blog... and just realised my rabun dekat is so obvious now... feeling sad... then I read about Uwan and feel grateful that I can still see...how strong uwan is.... I pray that she is blessed with good health... send my regards to her.

Ida Nour said...

Kak Zu tak pernah gagal membuatkan kita berairmata :')

Ida Nour said...

Kak Zu tak pernah gagal menitiskan airmata saya :')

Muhammad Taufiq said...

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cacah said...

hugs kak zue and hugs to uwan...

-ZaNnA- said...

Kak Zuuu.,...2 minggu katam semua your writting dari fes entry...hehehe
saye dah amik resepi tau..i love u ketat2...kim salam uwan..kirim peluk cium untuk tia mia... i love u...
*lap peluh bace byk beno*

Aya Feijoa said...

nak menangis baca penulisan kakak...i wish i can take care of my mum just like u kakak...

azleen said...

Salam Zu, i feel you, made me want to cry too. Alhamdulillah your mother still strong, you are also a strong woman! May Allah grant you good health, wealth and may happiness be with you always..Amiin.. - azleen

esah said...

Asalammualaikum Zu,

My mum pun going thru Wan's phase now both eye cataract dah masak and the specialist scheduled the op immediately.
She seems so helpless bila mata dah tak nampak ni hanya cahaya aja boleh nampak. Masa masih nampak sikit dulu
do not want eye operation but now tak perlu persuade she follows aja.
Insyaallah mohon ALLAH sentiasa berikan kita dan ibu kesihatan dan kesembuhan dari segala penyakit. Ameen.