Kisah sedih sekeping pizza- I shall remember as long as i life.

Sedih sangat hati malam ni sebab tu menulis walaupun sangat looking forward to sleep early and  straighthen my back- Tia Mia had fever since Monday- as usual i had to stay up to monitor their temperature around the clock- hence, I am very tired today.

But I just want to write this down while i still have this feeling- a deep sadness.

Apalah lagi yang boleh menyentuh my perasaan tentunya kisah me and my emak- Uwan lately sejak mata dah kurang after Maghrib dia terus naik katil dan tidur berselimut bila di ajak turun untuk dinner dia tak nak sebab dia kata nanti susah turun naik,walaupun I akan bawak dia naik dan turun tapi dia selalu cakap dia mengantuk dan dah kenyang. And without fail i akan bawak naik food kat dia dan temankan dia makan di sofa luar bilik. She always thankful for that without fail she will say "Terima kasih lah banyak2" kadang2 bila bawak naik her favourite food macam satay nampak terpancar happiness di wajahnya- Macam tu lah orang yang dah lanjut usia perkara yang sangat biasa bagi kita satu kebahagiaan bagi dia orang.

Malam ni i order pizza for the girls, masa uwan kuat dulu dia suka betul bila order pizza ni ,something special to her sebab makanan yang pakai telefon dan di hantar sampai kerumah, dia boleh habis sekeping pizza dan kalau order deli chicken wings lagi lah dia suka. 

As usual malam ni lepas Maghrib dia naik katil dan selimut- so malas nak kacau dia i just turun ambik sekeping pizza buat milo panas dan bawak naik, dia i dah bagi nasi at 6.00 pm actually sama dengan Tia Mia yang lapar cepat bila balik sekolah. Tapi dah makan petang pun i dont want her to miss dinner,it;s going to be a long night for her without any other activity- what if in the middle of the night she feels hungry and cannot go down to look for food:(

Bila kejutkan dia dari baring,pimpin tangan and bawak ke sofa luar bilik makan she was so happy and thankful- sangat kesian tengok expression kat muka dia- she said " Hai dah tidur pun dapat makan lagi,terima kasih lah banyak2" Sangat sedih bila seorang ibu yang dah tak berdaya berasa so thankful to anak sedangkan apa yang anak buat hanya lah tanggungjawabnya and that is nothing compared to what she had done for me. 

So sambil dia makan i temankan dan duduk kat tepi dengar berita- dengan mata yang kabur dia tak perasan i ada kat tepi,sedang makan dia berhenti dan bercakap sorang2 perlahan-lahan, i was about to say "emak jgn cakap sorang2" but decided to go near and listen to what she is saying- bila dekat dengar dia cakap " Ya Allah Ya Tuhan Ku kau pelihara lah dia suami isteri supaya kasih mengasihi antara satu sama lain dan hidup aman dan damai" I was so sad that i just keep quiet- she was so thankful to me sebab bawakan dia makanan ke atas walaupun dia dah dah tidur- bila pimpin bawak dia ke bilik air she keeps saying " Alhamdulillah dah kenyang perut- dah tidur pun dapat makan,terima kasih lah banyak2" Luka dan berdarah hati kerana kasih sayang seorang ibu- ketika umurnya 91 tahun dia masih ingat nak berterima kasih pada anak, berdoa pada Allah untuk kebahagiaan anaknya- sangat menyentuh hati saya malam ini sehingga berderai- derai airmata keluar:(

Sejak mata dah kabur inilah tempat breakfast Uwan dan Tia Mia pagi2- sejak Tia Mia Masuk Darjah 1 saya tak sempat lagi nak bawak dia turun breakfast,tak sedap hati nak harapkan Heni membawak dia turun after kita dah pergi office tak tahu pukul berapa pulak Uwan dapat minum.Jadi lepas habis masak pukul 6.00 pagi bawak se tray ke atas breakfast Uwan and the girls- letakkan di luar bilik kat meja pink Tia Mia ni utk Uwan breakfast- Bila dia dah makan baru lah senang hati ke pejabat.

Itu lah my emak sepanjang hidupnya tak pernah meminta walau sebentuk cincin pun from me apatah lagi duit- apa yang kita bagi selalu merisaukan dia takut kita tak cukup duit, dulu2 kalau kita hulur duit 100 dia kan pulangkan 50.00- masa mula2 kerja dulu pernah menangis bila balik dari kampung tengok terselit duit 50 dalam handbag di pulangkan separuh kerana takut anak tak cukup duit.

Rezeki yang saya pinta pada Allah Swt adalah untuk dia jugak, kesihatan dan umur yang saya pohon pada Allah Swt juga untuk menjaga dia dan anak2 saya serta orang2 yang di kasihi.

Sesiapa yang mempunyai ibu yang masih kuat berdikari jangan lah alpa dan terlena- umur mereka meningkat bagaikan kilat- baru saja saya menghantar message kepada my sister bercerita kisah malam ni dan menyatakan how i miss my emak seating at the kitchen bench helping me buang kaki taugeh- bukan tenaga dia yang kita perlukan tetapi kehadirannya- once kita kehilangan itu akan ada ruang yang kosong di hati kita- bagaimana pun tak akan terisi:(

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Missing so many things.

How time flies! While i still can't digest that it's already 2014 - January will come to an end soon! Last year my girls were in kindy and that last year sounds like a long time ago but it was just half month back- Now both are in school- doing okay- they enjoy their time:) Alhamdulillah- balik sibuk cerita kena bawak tour by the Teacher to the library, checking things at Science Lab, great time at Art Class, and nice Ustaz that taught them Rukun Iman. One of the best time at School is "Bus Bay Time!"They look forward to go to Bus Bay and wait for the School van to bring them back home- duduk makan leftover bekal and have fun in the van:):)

The mama somehow misses her daily routine quite badly:(:( For the past 3 years rain or shine i will patiently stand outside the kindy during the lunch time to pick them up.Now i feel like losing one task that is really important to me- nearing lunch i will rush things- tiba2 rasa ehhh tak payah ambik anak lagi sebab they keluar at 3.30 and ada van ambik- Last Friday i was nearly in tears- over lah sangat kan;);) but normally every Friday during kindy time i will pick them and we stopped somewhere for lunch- dekat2 dah nak habis kindy  for one month non stop we went lunch together- i know that once they start schooling i can't have our routine. Nowadays they finish school at 3.30 from Monday to Thursday, Friday school finishes at 12.20 but ada ngaji pulak kat rumah- that is so normal in life kan- one day your children will leave you- they will have their own life- ohhh so sad- that's how your own mama dulu2 rasa kan- with the feeling that i have now i try to enjoy every moment that we have- it's good that i can feel how my mom rasa dulu- Sometimes when we have too many chores or works to do we feel tired and wish that we don't have to do it but once it's gone you ll feel empty inside you- It may sounds funny but you are blessed to have works and chores to do as it completes your life and makes it colourful;);)

Dah pindah office berbulan- bulan di Bangsar baru lah berpeluang pergi Floristika- wahhh bestnyer banyak bunga yang affordable- the coldroom boleh buat kita haru biru memilih bunga segar- i bought this baby breath for RM9.00.

So seronok- rasanya boleh ada fresh flower sepanjang tahun di rumah! ada lah yang menggembirakan hati yang lara kerana pindah;);)

Berita sedih di hari Khamis- anak sedara uwan yang dulu kesayangan nya meninggal dunia di Paroi Seremban- i drove Uwan to Paroi- lamanya tak drive sendiri jauh2 seja berkahwin apatah lagi pergi balik hari yang sama- berjumpa ramai orang kampung menggamit berbagai kenangan masa kanak2- memang banyak yang di rindukan- missing so many things.Uwan apatah lagi mestilah banyak yang di fikirkan- hiba suasan di masjid- yang dulu di kendong telah pergi meninggalkan- Al Fatihah buat Tuan Haji Ustaz Alias- bertahun- tahun di Mesir tetapi janji bersemadinya di sini- meninggal dalam tidur sambil tersenyum.

Came back from Paroi Uwan was exhausted- i gave her warm bath-snugged her under the thick blanket- gave her hot Milo and some biscuits on the bed terus dia tidur sampai pagi.

This week was a long week and I miss my cooking session at my little wet kitchen- no more like before ada masa nak snap2 gambar- zasss masak and sass segalanya- So this Saturday i made a point to linger in my kitchen and cook few dishes.

Melancholic sungguh this week- nampak bench yang Uwan selalu duduk and teman me masak pun rasa sedih- sekarang sejak mata kabur Uwan hardly sit here dah- baru macam semalam dia boleh duduk2 di belakang tolong buang kaki taugeh- now dah tak boleh. Alhamdulillah ada kenangan dulu2,ada gambar boleh di lihat- sekarang mencuba ubat baru moga ada perubahan kat mata Uwan.

Nasib baik 2 orang ni duduk2 meneman;);)

What did i cook? I baked Red Talapia in Daun kunyit- sekarang banyak betul daun kunyit di halaman- so I  bersihkan ikan tumbuk kunyit hidup,bawang putih,merah,sapu ikan dgn garam dan lada hitam,lumur bahan tumbuk,bubuh 2 sudu olive oil alas dan tutup dalam daun kunyit and baked in Magic Pan;);)

And i made my favourite- terung Sambal;)

Gulai nangka with ayam for Uwan.

They tak berapa banyak homework sebab school habis at 3.30 the last one hour selalunya utk habiskan kerja rumah di sekolah - kalau tak habis boleh buat kat rumah and papa tukang supervise;):)- i have to makeover family area kat tingkat atas for these two- kalau ada rezeki lebih boleh lah buat small library- both have been asking for pull out bed- tengok macam mana kita boleh buat bergantung budget okay.

The two miss Teacher Claire very much- they love each other- so semalam sebelum ke OU bawak these two jumpa Claire- berpeluk punya lama with tears in their eyes - so sweet;)

Malam ni Kak Ikin datang- we girls keluar makan kat hypermarket dekat rumah- so seronok just duduk2 cerita kosong- we must do it often ya Kak Ikin. Uwan pun selera makan mee hoon soup.

Tomorrow is Monday- wishing everybody a good Monday - may it be colourful and lovely!

Night all- to all friends yang meninggal kan komen- Thanks so much- i managed to visit most of the blog cuma tak berkesempatan meninggalkan komen- i know ada yang punya wardrobe baru, cooked delicious food- prepared nice bentos for her children etc etc:):) See again soon!

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Short Entry- Chicken Recipe & A lil bit about School.

Hullo,

To DZ here is the recipe of my twin's favourite fried chicken:

It is very simple but yummy enough to just eat it with a plate of steamed  rice and sliced cucumber.

Ingredients : 1/2 fresh young chicken- chop in small pieces, 6 cloves of garlic, 4 shallots, 1/2 inch of fresh turmeric, 3 tablespoon of oyster sauce, a pinch of salt, 1/2 teaspoon of ground blackpepper, 1/2 tablespoon of cornstarch. 

Methods- Fry the chicken until  golden brown, drain the oil and set aside- Pound the turmeric, shallot and garlic- stir in 2 tablesppon of oil until can you can smell 'paradise"- slow down the fire, put in the oyster sauce, stir well and add in the chicken, mix well,turn fire to medium, add in the cornstarch which already been diluted with 1/2 glass of water, stir until the sauce becomes  thick then taste it- add some salt according to your liking and lastly add the blackpepper and mix well:)

Then you can eat macam Tia Mia:):)

Pada yang mintak recipe Chocolate Cake especially Zuraimah- To tell the truth i was not 100% satisfied with it- This is the recipe that i took from one of fb's news feed- The picture looks good as i dah make up it cantik2- the taste not bad- but i memang particular about cake- the texture is the most important to me-this one just sama macam mana2 yang you beli dari petrol station- maksudnya the cake is just so so but the sauce yang make it umpphh- i pulak suka cake yang the cake itself memang sedap tak payah bubuh apa pun sedap-  I am still trying other Chocolate cake recipes- once i found the best one like the Butter Cake i will not hesitate to share with everybody- Yang ni kalau you all nak try just google " Kek Cokelat lembab" mesti lah keluar recipe:)- i will try few other recipe- sabarr menunggu:)

Pada yang bertanya pasal sekolah Tia Mia- if you need more info please leave yr email address and i  will reply.

Today i really miss picking up my girls during lunch time- it was my routine for the past 3 years- no matter how tired and packed my schedule was: during lunch time i will patiently stand outside the kindergarten gate waiting for them.

Now they are boarding school van to go back home as the school finishes at 3.30pm  and i can't pick them up. I feel like losing one task which already synonym with me- i feel sad- when the clock moves to 1.00 pm i feel like rushing things so that i can go pick them up.

While doing it for the past 3 years - there were times i feel really tired as I had to rush from office to kindy then back to office again- tapi bila dah tak dapat buat so sedih:(:( We must appreciate all tasks and things that we have in life- cooking,taking care of our parents,picking up the kids, watering the plant,ironing,cleaning the drain,sewing,baking etc etc they are part of our life- once gone you feel like losing something. Walaupun sounds funny but we are blessed to have chores to complete and reason to be tired of- I am telling this to myself as recently i ve managed compare; what does it feel if you are relieved from doing your routine works.

This is also a good reminder for me : sebab sekarang timetable sangat tight and sometimes i feel exhausted- walaupun my parents dulu dah melalui pahit maung membesarkan anak2,bangun se awal pagi pukul 4.00 - menjerang air panas anak2 nak mandi,membuat bekalan, menghantar  seawal subuh ke tepi jalan utk anak2 bersekolah jauh tapi i still want to write down our schedule here untuk tatapan Tia Mia bila dah besar, inilah yang kita lalui bersama masa2 awal persekolahan :

First day of school mama woke up at 5.30 a.m: prepared lunch for uwan, light snack for your tea break at school,heavy breakfast for uwan and papa- went up get you out of bed and take bath, do the A-z routine, until you are in papa's car ready to go to school at 7.00 a.m- Waking up at 5.30 mama tak cukup masa utk mandikan uwan dan beri dia breakfast- mintak heni yang assist.

Second day- mama rasa sedih,tak tahu pukul berapa heni mandikan uwan, brekfast dan sebagainya- sangat kesian mengenangkan Uwan kalau lapar di waktu pagi orang tua perutnya cepat pedih. 

So second day mama woke up at 5.00 a.m- masak lauk tengahari,prepared light snack for bekal, heavy breakfast for everbody else - finished at 5.45  bawak naik satu tray breakfast utk Uwan breakfast you both. Masuk bilik uwan, gerak uwan,bawak bilik mandi,mandikan, pakaikan baju,sarungkan telekung- while Uwan sembahyang mama took bath,pray, by the time habis dah pukul  6.00, bawak uwan ke meja luar bilik, suruh dia makan- and mama masuk bilik suruh you both mandi-mandi,pakai baju etc etc sambil suap breakfast- 6.45 siap- mama keluar hantar uwan yang tiap pagi lepas breakfast nak ke tandas- uwan dah rehat depan tv sambil sambung breakfast - we all turun rumah at 7.00 masuk kereta 7.10 and sampai school 7.30- masih ada 1/2 jam bagi both of you to sit in the class- keluarkan buku dari locker etc etc.

So waking up 5.00 am in the morning is fine. While Heni just berkemas and tolong tengok uwan, mama cannot get her to cook or prepare your things sebab akan jadi lagi lambat dari cepat- so she just clean the house,wash clothes,iron, clean our car and tengok2 uwan.Maid macama mana bagus pun macam kereta after sometimes prestasi pun menurun jugak- ada masa2 memang berdoa agar dapat menguruskan semuanya tanpa bantuan orang asing-  tapi dia masih jujur dan tidak membuat perkara yang menyakiti uwan dan both of you- itu yang terpenting bagi mama.

Sometimes pergi ke office pun hati tak berapa senang- especially lately bila uwan kurang sangat penglihatan- banyak berharap orang- asyik terfikir belakang kita makan ke dia,haus ke dia, what if dia nak ke toilet and heni sibuk kat bawah atau atas berkemas tak dengar dia panggil.And due to that mama was a bit sad and stress these  few days- asyik berfikir how lucky wanita2 yang ada masa di rumah menguruskan semuanya.

Tapi pagi ni selepas dah mandikan uwan, suruh dia sembahyang- mintak dia berdoa supaya matanya sembuh,anak2nya diberi kesihatan,kekuatan dan rezeki untuk menjaganya- dan setelah memberinya breakfast dan routine yang lain- mama masuk ke kereta sambil memandu muhasabah diri- mama bukak zikir Hafiz Hamidun- mama selalu bercakap harus mempercayai Allah Swt dengan seluruhnya- ianya bukan dari aspect ibadah sahaja- haruslah mama berserah dan mempercayai kekuasaan Allah Swt sepenuhnya- setelah berusaha membuat yang terbaik maka selainnya di serahkan kepada Dia- mintak di lindungi orang yang kita sayang dan tak berdaya- kita tak ada tenaga super utk mengawasi segalanya, kita tak dapat segala apa yang kita hendak,kita tak dapat mengatur semua yang kita impikan - tetapi Allah Swt boleh- maka kepada Dia kita serahkan- moga semuanya selamat dan moga hati mama lebih aman dan tenteram,dapat mensyukuri semua nikmat yang di beri,tidak was2 lagi.

In sha Allah moga kita semua di lindungi- tapi mama masih nak marah dengan papa- bila mama texted papa " I miss picking up the girls so much- like losing one task- i feel sad"- papa jawab " Cheer up!" only!!!!- how could he - at least cakap lah' nanti cuti kita pergi jalan2 okay,mama nak apa papa belikan okay" huhhh i am sad!";);):)

Have a nice weekend peeps!

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First Day at School,Mama's Bff,Golf and First Cake for 2014!

Basket of stories to tell- but we cut it short tonight- tomorrow we have to wake up early- 3rd day of school! Hmmm how i wish it's still Saturday- he he;) It's the mama's wish and not the girls as both seem happy going to school- many excitement is waiting for them- Alhamdulillah no complaint so far,they like the teachers,Ustaz even the school bus:) Tak habis lagi cerita sekolah- first time hantar anak pergi sekolah kan:)

Hari tu the mama and papa were quite ambitious we asked the school to put the two in a different class so that they can be independent - but after 2 days of observation,it was not a good decision- they are wonderful as they never complaint and tried to adjust (walaupun they never been separated before)- but i can see the sadness in their eyes- during the tea break  Mia will sit at her table with her class's friends  dreaming- looking at Tia having a good time with her new friends- she said " That's Tia and her friends" it broke my heart- i immediately went to admin office and asked them to be put together-the school was supportive-biarlah apa pun orang cakap- my girls i know them- I just want them to be happy- this is one of the best time in their life- let them enjoy it- it's not about getting as many As as possible or the top in the class- i just want them to have a good foundation- grow big with happy heart- understand the need of knowledge- goal and ambition should be theirs and not ours- we parents will give them the full support and non stop doas- the rest we leave it to Allah Swt- may you be protected,may you be blessed;)

Second day at school- keeping books in the locker.

They need to learn how to use the key and padlock

They keep all books in the locker- whenever they need it they can take it from there- but the Principal has warned during the orientation day- dont keep your fried chicken there for weeks! It happened in the past:)

The school provides lunch for standard 1 up to Standard 3.They give parent meal plan for the whole month.

That's Tia having a good time with her new friends.

and that's Mia- sesat beberapa kali jugak dia nak ke meja- i think asyik fikirkan kan her sister- kesian- dont worry starting from tomorrow you will be in the same class- do keep an eyes on each other okay- you are sisters')

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Habis cerita sekolah:)

We and Uwan having lunch at Chef Zaidah's cafe.

Only us and uwan- Girls's day out:)

Malam minggu adalah malam terseronok- esok sabtu dan esok tu ahad ! yeahhhh- malam duduk di halaman bakar keledek di instant bbq set- bagus betul set ni- campak jer mancis on it- boleh terbakar up to 1.5 hrs- kuat pulak api dia apa pun boleh masak:)

Keledek sedap.

Saturday my kawan sejak darjah 1 datang rumah with her sister- dia tak cakap nak datang pun so masaklah apa ada:)

I cooked fried seabass.

Gulai seabass with petai:)

and sambal petai ikan bilis.

Anak dia dah darjah 3 tapi boleh ngam sangat with Tia Mia:)

So happy to see yr bff''s daughter jadi kawan anak you pulak- masa i darjah satu dia lah org pertama tarik tangan pergi kantin;)

Ahad papa took the girls to driving range.

"Harimau Kayu mengajar anak2 daranya"

Mia's performance was unexpected- kalau kat rumah lembik kuat merajuk but she can hit 200 balls easily and wanting more balls after that!

Si Tia cakap dan membebel lebih- hit satu ball buat ulasan dulu;)

The mama duduk order Pan mer sedap pedas meletup:)

After that we went dais to buy apron and craft bag for the girls's Art&Craft class.

This morning after breakfast we took Uwan to the nearby park.

Lunch i cooked simple ayam goring kunyit with oyster sauce and corn starch- the girls's favourite.

Petanh we had mee goreng kering.

And i baked for the first time in 2014!

Special Sexy Moist Chocolate Cake with Dark chocolate sauce.

Dark and dangerous:)

Dangerous to the tummy:)

We had a good day- it was a tiring week but we survive- may tomorrow be a good day for all of us:)

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